All These Words Unsaid
by odestasocean
Summary: Post Doomsday. When Rose returns home, she decides to write a letter to the Doctor with all the unsaid words. 'If anyone had told me I would be experiencing anything remotely close to this, I would think them insane. But you showed me galaxies, universes, stars, everything I could imagine and more. You showed me a better way of life.'


When I had promised the Doctor forever, I knew it was impossible. I knew my time with him would end eventually, but I tried to convince myself otherwise. That somehow, someway, I would never have to leave him. I had seen many things I thought impossible proven possible, so why not this one? The thing was, even though I knew it would come, I didn't expect it to be this soon. I thought I would have much longer with him. Yet here I stood, on bad Wolf Bay, saying my goodbyes to a hologram of him that I couldn't even touch. We only had two minutes, and I knew our time was growing short.

"I - I love you," I chocked out, and I really did. I had never said it, just assumed he knew, but it was my last chance and I had to make sure.

"Quite right too. And I suppose, if it's my last chance to say it, Rose Tyler -," and he's gone, vanished into thin air, literally.

I dropped down onto the sand, immersed in tears. It was the last time I was going to see him in my life. I see my mom kneeling next to me and she rubs her hand up and down my back, trying to comfort me.

"I'm sorry, sweetie."

"He's gone. I'll never see him again," I sob, resting my head on her shoulder.

"I know how you feel, Rose. And trust me, it gets better. It will."

"No! No it won't, it's not fair!"

My mom moves my head so I am looking at her in the eye. "Rose, I know there is nothing I can say right now that will make you feel and better, but you have to realize it won't be so terrible forever. Wounds from the heart heal too, just like battle wounds. They just take a little longer."

I do my best to try and collect myself.

"Do you think," I sniff. "Do you think he was going to say it back?"

"There's not one doubt in my mind he was going to say those words back, and you shouldn't either."

I merely nod my head and bring myself to my feet. "Can we go home now?" I ask. I can't stand this place any longer. My mom takes my hand and leads me to her car. It takes a while to reach home, but when we do I race into my room, pulling out a journal I had kept between the time we were separated and now, when he had come to say goodbye. I flip in open to a new page and stab it repeatedly, ripping a few pages out for good measure; I immediately regret it. Instead, I try writing a new entry. I knew writing about it would just keep my mind on the subject but it wasn't leaving any time soon anyway.

_'Dear Doctor,_' I start, tapping my pen against the paper. There was so much to say, yet I couldn't find the right words. Nothing could really describe exactly how I felt.

"Dear Doctor," I murmur to myself.

_Not really sure where to start on this, but I guess I should thank you, for everything. If anyone had told me I would be experiencing anything remotely close to this, I would think them insane. But you showed me galaxies, universes, stars, everything I could imagine and more. You showed me a better way of life. Even know it's a bit overwhelming thinking about everything I've seen. And It really sucks that it had to come to an end, but I guess everything does, right? But I can promise you one thing. I will never forget you. Not for day, one minute, one second._

_I feel absolutely honored that you chose me to travel with, and that I was just able to be there when you needed someone. I know we never said much until that dreadful day, but I really do love you. As in romantically. I don't know if you even realized - I think you did, but it still needed saying. Even when we would just hold hangs while running or embrace after a quick escape, it was like...like I was a teenager again. Getting the butterflies and feeling weightless, like there was no one I'd rather be around. I was honestly planning on telling you all this... but it's too late now. _

_It's hard to imagine life without you, impossible really. I love your ambition, your knowledge; I even love your nerdy glasses and sonic screwdriver. I love how you care for everyone, and even though you may not show emotion much, I know it's hard for you sometimes but you always find a way through. Which is what you need to do now. When you first thought you were going to lose me, you told me to have a fantastic life. Now, I'm asking the same in return, although that's obviously not hard for you. I guess what I'm trying to say is, don't fret on our separation too long. Find someone new. Don't forget me though, Doctor. Who knows, maybe someday I'll find a way back to you. Because if there's one thing, just one thing I've learned while traveling with you, it's that nothing is impossible. And I wouldn't have missed it for the world. _

_ Love,  
Rose_

As I finished the letter, there are tear stains all over it, smearing the ink. I slam the book shut and clutch it to my chest, sobbing heavily. I take a deep breath and try to regain my breath, my chest heaving, but it's no use. The tears continue, and I know they won't stop for a while, because how can they, when I've lost the most important person in my life?


End file.
